Self-care

One of the topics that may often be discussed in counselling is that of relaxation. When struggling with our mental health, relaxation exercises can be a really useful tool in helping us to switch off from our day to day struggles.

I think we’ve all done it – we arrive home from work and plonk ourselves down on the couch in front of the TV all night, and consider this an evening of relaxation. However, this activity doesn’t necessarily help us switch off, and we may be sat scrolling through our phones at the same time or thinking about what we have to do tomorrow. I like to use the term PROACTIVE RELAXATION, and encourage people to proactively experiment with different activities to see what helps them to relax. Slobbing in front of the tv absent mindedly for four hours is different to choosing a specific show you would like to watch and pay attention to for half an hour.

Relaxation is a skill, and something that needs to be practiced and personalised to the individual. What works for one, may not work for another. It’s important to find activities that work for you, be that having a bath, going for a walk, reading, playing tennis, painting etc.

The below exercise helps to relax your body and mind. Take your time with it, set aside a minimum of 15 minutes to go through the exercise so that you don’t need to rush. You might find it useful to have a partner, friend or family member read out the step by step guide for the first time so that you can focus on the task at hand. In time you can learn the exercise from memory and take your relaxation practice almost anywhere.

Muscle Relaxation Exercise:

Begin by finding somewhere comfortable to either sit or lay down. Perhaps dim the lights, light some candles, and play some soft relaxing music. You may choose to close your eyes.

First take your attention to your right hand and lower arm. Make a tight fist and squeeze tight. Hold for 10 seconds. Then let go, allowing all the tension to flow away. Feel your hand and your arm start to relax, counting for 10 seconds.

Next focus on the right upper arm, pushing your elbows into the arm of the chair/couch/bed. Feel your muscles tense, hold it tight for 10 seconds. Then let go, allowing all the tension to flow away. Feel your whole upper arm relax, counting for 10 seconds.

Take your attention to your left lower arm now, again making a tight fist. Squeeze it tight and hold it for 10 seconds. Now let it go, let all the tension flow away. Feel your hand and arm begin to relax, counting for 10 seconds.

Now focus on your left upper arm. Pushing your elbow down into the arm of the chair/couch/bed. Feel your muscles tense, hold it tight for 10 seconds. Then let go, allowing all the tension to flow away. Feel your whole upper arm relax, counting for 10 seconds.

Move your attention to your forehead and scalp. Lifting your eyebrows as high as you can. Hold them there and hold it for 10 seconds. Let it go, feeling your forehead and your whole scalp relax, counting for 10 seconds.

Next focus on your eyes, nose and centre of your face. Squint your eyes tightly and wrinkle up your noise. Hold them tight for 10 seconds. Now let go, feeling the centre of your face relax, counting for 10 seconds.

Consider now the lower part of your face. Clench your jaw together and pull the corners of your mouth back with a big smile. Hold it for 10 seconds. Now relax, feel your jaw loosen and drop, your tongue relax in your mouth, counting for 10 seconds.

Take your attention to your neck and pull your chin down towards your chest, not allowing it to touch but keeping it tucked in towards your body. Hold it there for 10 seconds, until you let go, allowing your neck to relax, counting for 10 seconds.

Now focus on your chest, shoulders and back. Take a deep breath in and pull your shoulders back as though trying to make your shoulder blades touch. Hold it for 10 seconds, and then let go, counting for 10 seconds.

Next take your attention to your stomach, tensing your abdominal muscles hard by pulling them in tightly. Hold it for 10 seconds. Let go, allowing your stomach to relax, even pushing it out a little, counting for 10 seconds.

Go to your right thigh, stretch your leg out and raise your leg slightly off the floor. Flex your thigh and hold it for 10 seconds. Then let go, allowing your thigh to completely relax, counting for 10 seconds.

Moving on to your right calf. Keep both feet on the ground, point your toes of your right foot up towards your head. Hold it for 10 seconds and then let go allowing your muscles to completely relax, counting for 10 seconds.

Focus now on your right ankle and foot. Curl your toes under and turn your foot in wards, hold it there for 10 seconds. Now let go, allowing all the tension to flow away, counting for 10 seconds.

Now focus on your left thigh, stretch your leg out and raise it slightly off the floor. Flex your thigh and hold it counting for 10 seconds. Then let go, and allow your thigh to completely relax, counting for 10 seconds.

Next focus on your left calf, keeping both feet on the ground, point the toes of your left foot back up towards your head. Hold it for 10 seconds. Then let go, allowing your calf to completely relax, counting for 10 seconds.

Finally take your attention to your left ankle and foot. Curl your toes under and turn your foot inward. Hold it for 10 seconds until you let go, allowing your foot and ankle to completely relax and all the tension flow out, counting for 10 seconds.

Spend a few moments taking in some nice deep breaths before you open your eyes and come back into the room. Hopefully you’ve been able to switch off and feel more relaxed. Keep practicing! The more you work at getting into a state of relaxation, the better you’ll get at doing it.